Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Unwritten rules

I recently finished reading "The Baseball Codes" by Jason Turbow regarding the unwritten rules of baseball. These unwritten rules include when and how it is appropriate for a pitcher to throw at a batter, what a batter would do to warrant having a pitcher throw appropriately at him, or when members of a team need to do stuff in support of the team (like joining a bench clearing brawl) rather than doing something for the benefit of themselves. I recommend this book only for those who are baseball aficionados as it is sometimes a little long winded.

But the idea behind this book got me thinking. Are there unwritten rules of triathlon and running? Of course there are! Here are a few, understanding that this list is no where near comprehensive, that immediately appeared in my mind:

  • Is it not OK to fart in the corral but it is OK to fart during the race.
  • Don't sprint it in to beat a kid.
  • Don't sprint it in to beat a geezer.
  • Written rules should be followed since they apply to all (including the people who thing they don't apply to them): If the rules say no ipods, no dogs, and no strollers, you shouldn't use an ipod, bring your dog, nor use the stroller.
  • Be aware of local customs when selecting race attire. The only thing worse to wear in a Central Park race than a Red Sox cap is a Tom Brady jersey.
  • Mankinis are wrong to wear everywhere.
  • Don't line up at the start on the line unless you have a realistic chance of winning the race overall. (The realisticness of this chance should be confirmed by a voice that doesn't live inside your head).
  • Be predictable. No sudden stops nor starts, zigs nor zags.
  • Take a deep breath before you go into a portapotty prerace since you can never know how pungent it will be.
  • Don't wear the tee shirt that the race organizers hand out as part of your swag during the race itself (you have to earn it before wearing it). The only exception to this rule is if it is so cold that you are considering stuffing leaves and/or newspapers in your clothes to keep warm.
  • Never believe someone who, at the race start, complains about all their ailments and lack of training.
  • Never blame a poor race performance on anyone but yourself.
  • Public nudity is discouraged, even for an instant.
  • When running on a track, go the same way as everyone else. If no one else is there, counterclockwise.
  • When training on a track, let the faster people run on the inside.
  • Beware of someone wearing a race shirt from a race more than 10 years ago, especially if it is too big. They most likely have figured some things out.
  • At the finish of a race with refreshments, don't take enough food to feed a small army.
  • Run the tangents.
  • Don't cut the course even if you see others do that.
  • When you (and you will) barf, the fewer chunks on the course, the better.
  • If you inadvertently do something stupid, say you are sorry (this is a life rule, not just limited to racing).
  • Thank a volunteer.
  • Don't sing out loud while racing if you wear an ipod.
  • It is even creepier if you sing out loud while racing if you don't wear an ipod.
  • There is no dishonor in not being able to run fast.
  • Don't talk on a cell phone during the race.
  • Realize that after you finish there may still be people out on the course racing. Don't get in their way.

14 comments:

Kovas Palubinskas said...

"If you inadvertently do something stupid, say you are sorry (this is a life rule, not just limited to racing)."

How true - funny post, even if a lot of it is serious advice most runners hould heed.

Big Daddy Diesel said...

I enjoyed this, thanks

- as for the food, also dont take home a month supply of food, because it was "free", there are other racers that would like to enjoy some food when they finish.

Jamoosh said...

It's OK to use the woods if the port-a-potty line is toolong - as long as you are IN the woods.

KC (my 140 point 6 mile journey) said...

Great list! Here's another one for all the spitters and snot rocketers out there. Make sure nobody is coming up on either side of you when you decide to spew!

Jeff - DangleTheCarrot said...

First I have read the "baseball codes" and loved it!

Second, great race list. Add, if you are going to pee on the bike, for the love of God, make sure it is clear behind you first!

Julie said...

Thank you! I was kind of crabby today...okay, I am crabby today:) Your little post just cheered me up a bit! I am actually smiling:)

Al's CL Reviews said...

"Realize that after you finish there may still be people out on the course racing. Don't get in their way."

I almost stopped and beat the carp out of a woman who wouldn't get out of my way. Luckily the cop saw my eyes, and grabbed her and told her to "Get the F&*k out of her way!" I hi-5d him and flipped her the bird. (You hit a sore spot of a slower runner).

But in general, you have to reminde people of this.

Thanks! Great list!

Glaven Q. Heisenberg said...

As a geezer of 50 (in 3 daze), I appreciate this one:

Don't sprint it in to beat a geezer.

But as a fan of the female body, I take issue with this:

Public nudity is discouraged, even for an instant.

What are you doing, man? Trying to ruin my sex life? We only discourage dudes from public nudity! Geez!

Tri Mommy said...

Great post! KC took my addition of making sure no one is behind you or to the side of you when you do a snot rocket or spit. It's bad enough that I get hit from time to time with my own snot rocket. I definitely don't want someone elses!

chris mcpeake said...

awesome post.
dont forget if you are going to pee on a run during the marathon make sure you are running backwards and not into the wind .... like seriously

Caratunk Girl said...

I really love this set of rules. Ha - "Mankinis are wrong to wear everywhere." I couldn't agree more. AND I actually was running a marathon and a guy passed me while TALKING ON HIS CELL PHONE! One more thing - volunteers are awesome - I always thank them on the bike and run course and along the way. I also think every athlete should volunteer at an event at some point, not only to give back but also to understand what it takes to make a race happen.

Kathleen said...

Love the list! And so true. Another one, if you are a walker in a running race, start in the back. That goes for people pushing strollers or running with their dogs(of course if it is a no dog, no stroller race then do bring them)

Missy said...

I will totally trip a geezer if he is faster than me.

I cheer for the mankini a la Faris.

Naked is almost always good - ALMOST.

Never believe someone who, at the race start, complains about all their ailments and lack of training....OR talks about all their trick ass gear they have. Neither mean a thing.

Patrick Mahoney said...

Wait, Tom Brady has single handedly managed to supplant 100+ of years of discontent between Yankees and Red Socks fans? Wow, I wasn't aware of this.