Sunday, November 17, 2013

What are you?

I was in the bookstore (rare, but they still exist) this morning and I overheard the clerk ask a customer, "are you an artist?" I wondered how I would answer that question if it was posed to me.

On one hand, I ceilinged out in the visual arts at either finger painting or perhaps paint by numbers. But considering yourself an artist goes beyond an ability to color inside the lines. I think this question is a flavor of not what you do but what you are. It is an interesting question to ask of yourself. If I don't consider myself an artist, what would I then consider myself as? My first thought is that it shouldn't be that hard to answer but it is. I haven't gotten to a conclusion yet.

But back to the customer and the clerk's question. The customer answered the question, "of course." I think that is perfectly artistic.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Trigger for Motivation

Last Sunday was the NYC Marathon and I watched most of it on television.While I've signed up a few times, I never raced a marathon (I don't count the walk that I did at the end of my ironman two years ago as a marathon). Based on last year's marathon being cancelled due to Sandy and my having been registered for it, I do have the option to get in to the 2014 version.

On Monday I flew to Dallas for business. The plane was full of marathoners heading home. Many were wearing finishers clothing with more than a few wearing their medals. The restaurants at the Newark Airport were even offering 25% off for marathoners with their medal. I saw people limping, challenged by getting out of chairs, looking at stairs as an impossible challenge, and sharing their stories. Mostly, I saw they were proud of what they did.

I was, in contrast, sad. I saw a brotherhood that I used to belong to. I was carrying an Ironman branded bag as a carry-on and felt like a poser or perhaps an intruder into their celebration. It now has been two years since I've raced a triathlon. I remembered flying back from Panama City not being able to walk, wearing my finisher jacket, constantly touching the medal around my neck, and being proud.

What does this all mean? I thought about signing up for IMFL2014 while watching the marathon but decided against it. It wasn't a priority. I do have the option for NYCM26.2 so I will need to make that decision in a few months. I want to be in a position where that will be a priority when that decision needs to be made.

Now that I haven't done any real racing in a while what I did do in the past has become more important to me. Does that make any sense? It wouldn't have to me a while ago but it does now. I need to get from the reverence stage to the hungry for more stage. I think that is mostly mental.

Hoping this plane ride and the feeling I had will lead me to the right motivation.