Friday, June 21, 2013

I don't know a f****n' thing.

On my way up to Lake Placid today I was alone in the car driving for about 6 hours. Although there were periods of singing along (in key, of course) to the songs on the radio and that singing was loud, it did give me time to thing without a lot of distractions. The net of this soul searching was the title of this blog entry.

But Rock Star, you know stuff. Most of it is useless but there is a gem often hidden in the muck, right? You've done all sorts of events, coached people in endurance sports, got certifications and licenses, have hundreds of people working for you in real life, you have patents, you even worked on the Space Shuttle back in the day you real life rocket scientist. You must know some thing even if it is simply how to wipe your own ass.

If I knew anything why would I have gone up to Placid without being properly trained? Because I rationalized it. I convinced myself that I knew something and there are exceptions to the rule and because I did it before I should be able to do it again and, and, and, (you get the picture).

In summary, I've been listened to the voice in my head. That voice, I determined during my drive, knows nothing. It doesn't know when things are going good or when things are going bad. It keeps telling me not to train because there is plenty of time to make the training up but there isn't. When something hurts it convinces me to shut it down so I don't get injured rather than having confidence to tough it out. It rationalizes the amount of food that I eat and tells me that in spite of all evidence to the contrary I'll be about to lose a gazillion pounds almost instantaneously. All wrong.

So, what to do?

I'm here in Placid looking at Mirror Lake. I've brought all my stuff even though I doubt my wetsuit will fit. The bipolar voice in my head keeps telling me that I will amazingly gain all the fitness necessary to be amazing but then it changes its tune rather quickly and rather often. The new tune is a variation on a requiem.

I originally went into this weekend with the plan of swimming a lap (1.2 miles), biking at least a lap 56 miles on Saturday and see if Sunday mixes in a run or a swim or another shorter bike ride before the drive home. My new plan is that I'm going to try a bunch of stuff and see how it goes.

What that stuff winds up being will determine if I should listen to myself or perhaps revalidate the need for a coach to be that voice. Either way, the weekend will have value.




6 comments:

Mike said...

Whether it goes well or not, I hope the weekend helps get you back on track either the easy way or the hard way.

MILF Runner said...

A mind is a terrible thing.

Don't spend to much time in your head. And start training consistently.

I like that you asserted the weekend WILL have value. Good start.

Kate Geisen said...

The most important thing this weekend is to DO SOMETHING. And then get up the next day and do it again. Have a great weekend!

TriMOEngr said...

I second Kate's comment. Doing SOMETHING is so important. Hang in there! And if nothing else comes of the weekend, at least you get to hang with a bunch of totally inspiring people.

Big Clyde said...

Most guys stayed home and did nothing today, Rock. I'm inspired that you are doing something while you are figuring it out.

Caratunk Girl said...

Joe, you are awesome, and you do know your shit. When I get down on myself like this, I often go back to - well, most people didn't do anything today. Like those guys above said. What you did was right for you and that was smart - proof you know your shit. ;)

And I also think it is freaking awesome that you were there because I got to see you! AND go to Tail O' the Pup! That is really the most important thing ;)