Sunday, October 23, 2011

Ball rot

Sometimes when you ride with a group of cyclists, the topic of conversation goes in directions that you would never expect. Yesterday I was riding mindless laps with Artie and Mr26point2 around Heckscher Park. I had 70 miles on tap as part of my taper. Mr26point2 was in for 110 and Artie was being his wing man helping him on his long rides preparing for IMAZ. We stopped at Artie's truck to reload nutrition and he pulled out a pair of running shorts that had seen better days. This is the conversation to the best of my recollection. There may have been some topics and words edited out. Ladies, you may want to skip this post as being TMI.

Artie: I keep running in these shorts at work since I am too lazy to bring them home and wash them.

Mr26point2: You've gotta get the skank out of those trou otherwise you'll get ball rot.

Artie: I don't get ball rot.

Mr26point2: Everyone can get ball rot at some point unless you take preventative measures.

Artie: Not everyone gets ball rot.

RockStar: Fewer people admit it.

Mr26point2: I'm sure that there are some exceptions to the rule but the only way you don't get ball rot is if you do steroids.

RockStar: Steroids?

Mr26point2: You know, shrinkage leads to more room to help dissipate the humidity inside the shorts. If you don't have the space, ball rot is unavoidable. Artie, you lift. Do you do steroids?

Artie: I don't do steroids.

Mr26point2: Luckily, I've developed a cure for ball rot.

Artie: A cure?

Mr26point2: Why would you care? You said you don't get ball rot since you do steroids.

Artie: I don't do steroids. I don't get ball rot. Chafing, though, is a different story. I got a bad case of the chafes after IMPocono but that was because it was so wet.

Mr26point2: I never get ball rot. I use deodorant.

RockStar: Deodorant?

Mr26point2: Well not really deodorant but anti-perspirant.

RockStar: Lavender scented?

Mr26point2: No, not lavender but if you do it wrong or on top of ball rot, it'll sting.

Artie: How do you know that?

Mr26point2: Research.

RockStar: How does that relate to those shorts?

Mr26point2: I'm trying to help him with the depth of my research. You should write a blog post on this as a public service announcement.

RockStar: Consider it done. Let's roll.

Artie: Chafing is not ball rot. Chafing was caused by rain and being wet.

Mr26point2: Is it raining now? No.

Rockstar: Do you have separate deodorants?

Mr26point2: He needs at least one. Those shorts are carriers for ball rot. We should name those shorts typhoid Mary.

Artie: Let's roll.

Mr26point2: Let roll

Rockstar: Should I really blog about this?


joyRuN said...

I'm not really sure what "ball rot" is, but I'm definitely not inclined to look it up.

Big Daddy Diesel said...

ep, sounds like a paceline convesation, though a little TMI, what happens in a paceline stays in a paceline.

adena said...

I wish I had taken your advice. "Ladies, you may want to skip this post as being TMI."

Jason said...

I am in tears with laughter. Men can have crude conversations, but triathlete males can have even worse conversations and yet they are hilarious.

Big Clyde said...


My thoughts:
2. Artie is delusional. What other lies does he tell himself?
3. Mr26point2 has spent way too much time thinking about ball rot, humidity dissipation, steroids and most importantly, shrinkage. What happens down below stays in your own head, right?
4. This is very typical idiot-guy behavior that demonstrates the lengths we will travel to avoid laundry.

You were the only one that escaped this conversation with any class, Rock.

Good luck next week.