Friday, October 7, 2011

Am I Don Quixote?

"To dream ... the impossible dream ...
To fight ... the unbeatable foe ...
To bear ... with unbearable sorrow ...
To run ... where the brave dare not go ...
To right ... the unrightable wrong ...
To love ... pure and chaste from afar ...
To try ... when your arms are too weary ...
To reach ... the unreachable star ...

This is my quest, to follow that star ...
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far ...
To fight for the right, without question or pause ...
To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause ...

And I know if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest,
That my heart will lie will lie peaceful and calm,
when I'm laid to my rest ...
And the world will be better for this:
That one man, scorned and covered with scars,
Still strove, with his last ounce of courage,
To reach ... the unreachable star ..."
- Lyrics from The Impossible Dream from
Man of La Mancha

Yesterday 6 miles into my 7 mile run, which was going quite well I might add, I felt a twinge in my right calf muscle. I thought nothing of it until the next step when the twinge got worse. Then I remembered that this is the calf that I've strained at least twice before with devastating results. I stopped my run, limped back, put ice on it, and put a calf sleeve on it. I was not happy.

This morning it was not better. I was now officially very not happy. I started researching all sorts of failure quotes as I saw my Ironman disappeared before my very eyes. I was not a pleasant person to be around.

I thought maybe I'm a fool for trying to do what I try to do. I'm out of shape. The other day someone asked me who was the fattest person ever to complete an Ironman and I answered that I didn't know but it might hopefully be me. I've been fighting various injuries for more than two years now. I am jealous of all the people that can do this without getting hurt and wondered why it has to be so difficult for me. Maybe, just maybe, this dream wasn't meant to be. At least not for me.

But I'm not ready to give up at least not yet. I've been hitting it with the stick. I ate some anti-inflammatories. I'm hydrating well. I made an appointment with the good doctor for some ART tonight. He has "cured" me before on this and let's see what he has to say.

I thought of the song above all day long. I hope I'm not Don Quixote but then again maybe I hope some of him, at least the being true to a glorious quest part, is in me. Wish me luck.

7 comments:

TriMOEngr said...

Sending you lots and lots of wishes for a speedy recovery! Don't give up yet!

Shelly said...

Keep fighting the windmills..... hope you get past this quickly and easily.

Kate said...

You've definitely been fighting a lot of obstacles this training cycle especially. And I don't think you're Don Quixote, but I'd still be out fighting windmills than home on the couch (well, half the time I'm WISHING I was home on the couch, but not really). Most people are scared to even dream about what you're trying to do.

Michael said...

I'm feeling for you right now. As you know, I just missed my "big" race due to injury. It is so frustrating when you are trying to do the right things....lead a healthy lifestyle and push yourself to the limits and your body won't cooperate. I seriously hope the ART and other things will help you feel better soon! Don't lose hope. Fingers crossed for you!

KC (my 140 point 6 mile journey) said...

I pray the ART works magic for you as it did for me. Keep hitting it with the stick, ice, calf compression sleeve, etc...
Sending you fast healing mojo. The IMFL windmills await you!

Pschall said...

Never, ever give up! A friend of mine, who is 270 lbs, just completed the Redman 140.6. He was told by many people that it was impossible--that he shouldn’t put his body through it until he could lose more weight (he had lost over 100 lbs already). BUT he persevered. He pushed on. Even with some serious crash injuries that resulted in surgery a month before the race! His time was over 16 hours, which I’m sure is crazy painful, but he finished! I don’t think you should race injured, but I think that if you heal up enough, you should totally go for it and do your absolute best!

Big Daddy Diesel said...

You still have time to get better

I am a believer that everyone has their distance, whether it is short course or long course. I personally feel that too much attention is given to the 140.6 distance. Its a distance, thats all, I am not sure I truely want to do it. It feels like "I have to do it" to stop people asking me if I did one. Not because I want to do it.

Regardless of what you end up doing about Florida, you are and always will be a triathlete.